The Gremlin's Grotto

Well, here it is oh loyal readers, a story for the ages. You see, it started last night when the football team, more commonly known as soccer to the uneducated and egocentric North Americans, played a match that determined whether or not our team got into the playoffs or would be left on the outside looking in. Well, after a hard-fought match against Mutton-Chops and his evil team of rabble rousers, the good guys came out on top 2-1. The fun began after the match, Beer Gremlin and the rest of the doomsayers decided to go out for a post-match celebration. We are not hooligans, but yet, it would seem that evil follows those who sow it. A few foolish drunk punks decided it would be a good idea to pick a fight over a chair at the club... well, first off, the odds were in our favour, 12-4, and secondly, NEVER pick a fight with a football club, we are dirty, mean, relentless and generally a nasty lot. Well, after a careful count( with the help of our members), the drunken fools decided they would wait for reinforcements that would never come. That left us sitting there, laughing and mocking the fools.

Part 2- After singing, drinking and carousing to our hearts' content, we left the club and decided to get some of the King's burgers before calling it a night. On the drive there, more of the uncommon happened. We looked out of our auto's window and saw two smokin' birds groping and kissing!!! If that wasn't enough, the next thing we saw was a fight, it was short and strange, but the strangest thing of it was afterwards the two combatants ended their differences with a jig, yes.. it would seem these two combatants had Irish dancing in common!!!!

In conclusion, the night was eventful, successful and fun. It is hard to beat a night like that.. although I wish those fools had tried something, I haven't had human flesh in a while, and it would have been easy to take a chunk out of some idiots with a lack of logistical skills. You know, if you can't handle your liquor, don't drink it. Damn mortals....

So sits,
The Desk Gremlin

Any problems or comments for the Grotto's Keeper should be directed to a dark place, or if you really must, daiunus@yahoo.ca

Well, here I sit, perched atop my throne, looking at a vehicle for my thoughts, views, and nastiness. Now that I have it, where do I begin? What part of this messed up world do I chew up and spit back out in little bits so that you will understand me? Who deserves the first verbal lashes of my forked tongue? Well, you see, that is the problem, too many deserve that spot: Organized religion, Political refuse( any word referring to humanity would be a longshot in this case), sports that claim excellence, but truly delve in the squalor of the fourth terrace of hell, like many of my cousins, hypocrits, gun-toting fools, gun-toting madmen, idiocy in its many forms... just too many I say.
So I will begin in a different way, instead of chewing and spitting, I will make a simple plea for those who are fortunate enough to read these words: please, do not be a fool, decide your place in this world and believe in it, find Faith in one of its many forms, make a stand for your ideals and do not falter, do not be persuaded or deluded by one of the refuse of the world, be whole.


So sits, The Desk Gremlin