The Gremlin's Grotto

So, I have a story to chill you to the bone, if you have a weak heart, or need medicine for your nerves, you may want to consider not reading any further. So, here is the story.

I had a great day at work, getting along with the coworkers, having a good time, learning alot. We needed to stay late to set up some offices, and I didn't get off until 8. Before I went home, I did my email and kept up on local events. Then I went back to my room... In the hallway I met up with an Iranian who has a German passport (apparently, he has been living in Germany a long time, irrelevant, but I want you to get the whole story). He is about 40, and looking for work, so I think, " hey, we have the basics in common." We enter the room, and both go to our respective beds on opposite corners of the room; he passes out/falls asleep, and I decided to read a bit. Around 10 I turn out the lights and settle in for a good sleep for the first time since I began work. I fall asleep. I wake up to the sound of water falling, possibly a drainpipe. Upon further listening, I realize it is the Iranian taking a piss, I think, " Bastard pissing out the window, what a tit-head, however I am in bed, I am comfortable and I am tired so let him do his business." After what seemed like a very long time, I think, " WOW, this is the longest piss in the history of pissing out hostel windows!!!" At this point I look to make sure that he is actually doing his deed out the window, but I can't see him!!! After looking around the dark room, I see him pulling up his draws near the bed next to me. I immediately jump up, he goes back to bed and apparently right back to sleep before I have time to turn on the light. When I do, I see a horrendous river of yellow moving slowly towards my gear on the floor. I run over and move everything I can away from this pooling cesspool of human excrement. After doing this, I decide to go talk to the hostel owners and see if I can get him removed. I do. After much laughing by the other guests present, and twenty minutes later, they come up to remove him from the room. I go in just as he is leaving, at which point he shares one parting word with me, " Asshole." My reply, " I was thinking the same thing." Then we part ways.
Now, this leaves me in a room with 8 beds, 2 of which are occupied, and 1 of which is filled with piss. So, I go back down the 5 flights of increasingly steep stairs and ask who is going to clean up the mess. They respond, someone will in the morning. Not acceptable. I get a bucket and a mop and go about cleaning the room. I remove the pissy mattress too. So, after all this, me and my roomie that is left, an Aussie also looking for work, go to sleep at around 1:30. At around 2:30, the light goes on, and 5 what I think are spanish girls walk into the room with all their stuff. Oh, you are thinking, " lucky boy!" Well, you would be right if I were awake, not working in the morning and basically not really 'pissed' off at the whole night. So, after they laugh, talk and scream at normal decibels for a while, I ask them to turn out the light. One girl obliges. Another girl doesn't like that idea and turns back on the light. I am getting more and more irritated. So, I put up with this for an hour, then finally as if God has said, " Okay, I have treated this poor kid worse than Job tonight," The girls go to sleep. And so ends my night. 7:00 comes early to those who have suffered the indignities I did...

So sits, Tired and perplexed by the idiocy of people,
the Desk Gremlin

Any problems or comments for the Grotto should be directed to a dark place, or if you really must, daiunus@yahoo.ca