The Gremlin's Grotto

Heya folks! Well, I have went and gone... no that isn't right, come and gone... that doesn't sound right either... hmm... I went to and came back from Prague for my sister's wedding (not quite poetic, but true enough). It was beautiful, easily the nicest wedding I have ever been to honestly, and I am not saying that because I am biased at the couple getting married. The site, the people, the ceremony... all perfect. You couldn't ask for anything better. The traditions melded perfectly, the smashing of a plate, the tinking of wedding glasses, the kiss, the alcohol (wait, that really is the same in every culture I think). You get the idea. I made a legend of myself, getting absolutely smashed the night before the wedding passing out and then apparently sleep walking to my sister's room to say hi at night. well ok, not hi as much as a hazey stupor (which I still don't remember). Anyway, it was hilarious and the next morning both sides of the families were having a good laugh at the Gremlin's expense. It was fun though, and I was sober enough to stand in the wedding with no issues.

It was awesome to see everyone again: Lisa, Tomas, my parents, grandparents, uncles, aunts and of course an old roommate. I wish I had had longer with the lot of them. I am going to try to convince my sister and Tomas to get their asses over to England for a quick visit before they run for USA again. I know I could write alot more about the wedding, but I am pretty tired and this keyboard is really bad, so I am not being inspired here. However, I really wanted to say that I enjoyed the wedding and that it was a spectacle.

Other than that, I am working and living in London. Canada day will be interesting, I am heading downtown for the Canadian festivities. Right now, I am feeling a bit homesick, missing friends and family more than I ever have in the past. At some point I will have more interesting stories, but until then, I will try to write once a week to keep you all updated on things.

Once again, Congrats to my Sis and new Bro in Law!!! I hope to see you again soon (actually that goes for all of you reading this!!!).

So sits, Lonely but with good memories,
The Desk Gremlin

Any problems or comments for the Grotto should be directed to a dark place, or if you really must, daiunus@yahoo.ca

So, I have a story to chill you to the bone, if you have a weak heart, or need medicine for your nerves, you may want to consider not reading any further. So, here is the story.

I had a great day at work, getting along with the coworkers, having a good time, learning alot. We needed to stay late to set up some offices, and I didn't get off until 8. Before I went home, I did my email and kept up on local events. Then I went back to my room... In the hallway I met up with an Iranian who has a German passport (apparently, he has been living in Germany a long time, irrelevant, but I want you to get the whole story). He is about 40, and looking for work, so I think, " hey, we have the basics in common." We enter the room, and both go to our respective beds on opposite corners of the room; he passes out/falls asleep, and I decided to read a bit. Around 10 I turn out the lights and settle in for a good sleep for the first time since I began work. I fall asleep. I wake up to the sound of water falling, possibly a drainpipe. Upon further listening, I realize it is the Iranian taking a piss, I think, " Bastard pissing out the window, what a tit-head, however I am in bed, I am comfortable and I am tired so let him do his business." After what seemed like a very long time, I think, " WOW, this is the longest piss in the history of pissing out hostel windows!!!" At this point I look to make sure that he is actually doing his deed out the window, but I can't see him!!! After looking around the dark room, I see him pulling up his draws near the bed next to me. I immediately jump up, he goes back to bed and apparently right back to sleep before I have time to turn on the light. When I do, I see a horrendous river of yellow moving slowly towards my gear on the floor. I run over and move everything I can away from this pooling cesspool of human excrement. After doing this, I decide to go talk to the hostel owners and see if I can get him removed. I do. After much laughing by the other guests present, and twenty minutes later, they come up to remove him from the room. I go in just as he is leaving, at which point he shares one parting word with me, " Asshole." My reply, " I was thinking the same thing." Then we part ways.
Now, this leaves me in a room with 8 beds, 2 of which are occupied, and 1 of which is filled with piss. So, I go back down the 5 flights of increasingly steep stairs and ask who is going to clean up the mess. They respond, someone will in the morning. Not acceptable. I get a bucket and a mop and go about cleaning the room. I remove the pissy mattress too. So, after all this, me and my roomie that is left, an Aussie also looking for work, go to sleep at around 1:30. At around 2:30, the light goes on, and 5 what I think are spanish girls walk into the room with all their stuff. Oh, you are thinking, " lucky boy!" Well, you would be right if I were awake, not working in the morning and basically not really 'pissed' off at the whole night. So, after they laugh, talk and scream at normal decibels for a while, I ask them to turn out the light. One girl obliges. Another girl doesn't like that idea and turns back on the light. I am getting more and more irritated. So, I put up with this for an hour, then finally as if God has said, " Okay, I have treated this poor kid worse than Job tonight," The girls go to sleep. And so ends my night. 7:00 comes early to those who have suffered the indignities I did...

So sits, Tired and perplexed by the idiocy of people,
the Desk Gremlin

Any problems or comments for the Grotto should be directed to a dark place, or if you really must, daiunus@yahoo.ca

So, I got the job, I am making okay money... great money if you consider it converted, which you really can't. I found some people to share a flat with, we put down a referencing fee (just a way for them to hose you here), and was already to move in. Now, apparently the two girls had a falling out with the other guy that we were ready to sign with... bloody hell. So, now they are going to kick out the guy and try to find another person to take the room... sounds easy? Never. And, in the meantime I am staying in a stupid hostel again. It is really too late for me to back out of the deal with the girls, so now I have to sit patiently while they search for another... shouldn't take too long, but what a pain!!!!

I start work tomorrow, and I think it should work out well... well, it actually has to work out, I am in debt up to my eyeballs, and have to pay a hundred people back, and I have put all my eggs, along with the chickens into this basket. So, I am not sure whether I am happy, sad, or what... so much stress the last month and a half that it is wearing me down. Hard to figure out what is next on the agenda.

What else? Hmm... I can't think of anything. The hostel thing sucks so bad... trying to wake up in the morning surrounded by people that I have to worry about waking and such, just a serious pain in the backside. Hopefully I can keep my suit from getting too wrinkled while I am there.

Oh, by the way, one comment from last post!!!!!??? Come on!!! I need comments!!!! that's all for now, this is a really condensed entry I realize, but I am just too tired to come up with a well written one.

Any problems or comments for the Grotto should be directed to a dark place, or if you really must, daiunus@yahoo.ca

So, where to begin? Well, I had my orientation today. This orientation was "for my benefit" apparently, to decide whether I wanted the position or not. Basically it comes down to this: I can't get a job that I am qualified to do, and I can't get a job I am overqualified to do. She said that her only problem with me was that she thought I would get bored too easily doing this job. God damn it, I can't win can I? So, after some convincing that this was my dream job etc... I was happy there was room for advancement (which was true), she said she would love to have me on. It was kinda nice actually, she said they love people like me who are too good to be true, but are wary at the same time that I would leave for something as quickly as possible... which is true, but I didn't let her know that.

Tomorrow she calls me and tells me where exactly I will be working. It will be in Central London (the good parts) for sure, but not sure what office yet... or if I will be a floater, going from office to office weekly to help out. That is kinda cool too actually, but we will see. I asked for the 24th off, because of Lisa's wedding, which was cool with them. Hmmm, what else? Not much right now honestly. I need to find a place to live, get a bank account, and basically get settled. I also need to find enough cash to survive for the first month!!! Sigh, ya know, I am definitely getting too old to start over all the time. Anyway, gotta go look for a place to live, and all that jazz. Hmmm, I really want to say more, but I can't think of anything!!! My life has been really boring lately considering where I am. Well, hope everything is well back home, and I can officially say that the offer to come visit me is open!!!! Oh!!! I know one thing I was going to say: Colin!!!! GRATS ON THE HOUSE!!!! WOOT!!! Wish I was there to help you move in ;)

So sits, somewhat pleased, but more indifferent,
the Desk Gremlin

Any problems or comments for the Grotto should be directed to a dark place, or if you really must, daiunus@yahoo.ca

Hello again loyal readers!!! I would say fans, but that makes me sound a bit more like a rock star than I am, or care to be. So, as Burton has alluded to in his last post, I have good news! I have a job!!! Sure, it isn't in the art field, it doesn't pay as well as I was hoping, but there are good things about it. First off, if you convert it to dollars, it is a rocking salary. Second, I get to stay here for a bit longer. Third, it is a job that should allow for advancement and more money. Fourth, did you ever notice how most people only do three points and then stop... well not this gremlin! Fifth, it is in London, and it is a job!!!! So, basically I still don't know a starting date, although I have an orientation next week; I don't have a place of work yet, since they haven't decided which office gets their token Canadian yet (all offices are in London, just a matter of which one gets me). Hmmm, anything else to tell you? Oh, what I am actually going to be doing... well, I am not 100% sure. My title is Service Coordinator, the company is an office/meeting room supply company. It works like this: company wants office, but hates making coffee, setting up computers, setting up phones, figuring out costs of all this crap, hate having answering services... well, we provide all that, and they pay one fee. We also have meeting rooms that work the same way. So, my job: I set up meeting rooms, scheduling, sales, make sure customers are happy, and yes... I even make the coffee. So, I am the cog of the well oiled machine. Damn, that was a good line huh? Just came up with that one on the spot. Now, I will still be looking for work in my field, and I will also be considering other countries as I do my search, but at least I can make money and stop worrying.

Wow, I needed that break didn't I? My eyes were hurting rereading this. So, back to my explanation. I am still living in the south for now, at least until they say, " Juan (I changed my name to Juan while I am in London. I look like a Juan don't I? Okay, so I didn't change my name), you will be working in *office X*." Once I find out that, I will start narrowing an apartment search down. No ideas yet on that front, but I have a pal here who will surely help me on the search. My next question: Who is going to come visit me??!?! I asked some of you in personal emails... you know who you are! but, I am still waiting... obviously, give me enough time to find somewhere to live, and therefore somewhere for you to crash, but the offer will remain open!

Next thing on my agenda... figuring out exactly HOW I am getting to my sister's wedding... and when. Well, that's it for now, but keep in touch folks, I miss you all.

So sits, a Londoner!!!!
The Desk Gremlin


Any problems or comments for the Grotto should be directed to a dark place, or if you really must, daiunus@yahoo.ca